My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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