that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
