I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize