I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
