We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
