I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
