just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
