Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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