Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
