I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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