just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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