So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
