Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
