Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
