Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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