omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
