He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My vagina is officially offended.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
