I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
