After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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