A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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