You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
