Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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