I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
