I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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