remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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