ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
