Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
