rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
