yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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