So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
