It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
