just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
