Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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