What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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