that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
