you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
handjob tips. give me some.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
