I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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