sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
