i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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