So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
