sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
