I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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