that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
