why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
