Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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