just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
