I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!