I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
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Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
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Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??