All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me