How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
