Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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