That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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