I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
