at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
