Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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