You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You're earring is so big in my mouth
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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