You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
