just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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