she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
