I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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