paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
