would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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