I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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