All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
