He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
